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What the Raptors' Want Under the Christmas Tree
Authored by Jonathan Rosenbluth - December 15, 2006 - 12:30 am



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TJ Ford: 14.2 ppg, 4.1 rpg, 8.0 apg.

Bryan Colangelo traded Charlie Villanueva for TJ this off-season and was rewarded by TJ’s great play to start the season. Ford was one of many NBA players who complained about the new ball, as he said that he would have to take the long bounce pass out of his arsenal of passes.

UNDER THE TREE 2 WEEKS AGO: The new ball planted firmly in David Stern’s arsenal…WISH GRANTED!!

Chris Bosh: 20.5 ppg, 12.5 rpg, 2.0 apg.

Bosh has been having another great season and has been the Raptors only consistent player. CB4 has been hampered by a heel and knee injury, and an eye problem. Bosh has missed the teams past couple games due to his knee injury.

UNDER THE TREE: Following his recent eye problem, a juicy Bausch (Bosh) and Lomb sponsorship deal?

Morris Peterson: 13.0 ppg, 3.7 rpg, 1.0 apg.

Mo Pete was a starter to begin the season. After putting up mediocre stats he was unhappy at being moved to the bench in favour of Fred Jones. It is suspected that he was the anonymous player that told a reporter that he thinks Sam Mitchell should get fired. Peterson got injured soon after being moved to the bench.

UNDER THE TREE: Sam-ta gives him back the starting role (and his two front teeth)

Andrea Bargnani: 8.3 ppg, 2.7 rpg, 0.6 bpg.

Il Mago has been very inconsistent. That being said, lately he has started to play better. He is starting to get more playing time and his potential is being recognized, but he couldn’t guard a turtle if his life depended on it.

UNDER THE TREE: The ability to play D-FENCE

Fred Jones: 9.7 ppg, 2.8 rpg, 2.1 apg.

Jones started the season coming off the bench and was playing very well. He then replaced Mo-Pete in the starting roll. Jones is a very streaky player who gets into a lot of slumps and has proven to be a bit inconsistent. That being said, he has been a spark plug for the Raptors with his tasty finishes!

UNDER THE TREE: “Get out of slump free” card.

Rasho Nesterovic. 3.8 ppg, 3.6 rpg, 0.9 bpg.

The Raptors acquired Nesterovic in the off-season for Matt Bonner and Eric Williams. Rasho was expected to be a player that could get some rebounds and take some of the load off Bosh. Rasho has not done that, and as Bargani continues to improve the Yugoslavian’s time on the bench will continue to grow. Rasho peaked in 2002-2003 with the Timberwolves and his stats have been declining ever since.

UNDER THE TREE: Talent or perhaps beta videos of Twin Peaks.

Kris Humphries: 2.9 ppg, 2.3 rpg, 0.3 spg.

When Humphries has been on the floor he has played well and he has shown that he is a true hustler. The problem for him is he is rarely on the floor. He is averaging. 8.1 minutes per game, down from his career average of 11.3 mpg.

UNDER THE TREE: Please sir, may I have some more… (minutes).

Anthony Parker: 10.7 ppg, 3.0 rpg, 1.7 apg.

Last season Parker played for Maccabi Tel-Aviv. In the off-season he signed with the Raptors. He has fit nicely into a starting role. He is a great defender and has a nice shot, but he rarely beats his man off the dribble, so his shot is easily contested.

UNDER THE TREE: A powerful and fast first step… “one small (fast) step for man, one giant leap for Raptorkind”.

Jorge Garbajosa: 8.9 ppg, 5.3 rpg, 1.6 apg.

The “Garbage Man” was signed as a free agent this off-season. Last year he played for Unicaja, and also helped lead the Spanish team to the FIBA championship. In the preseason Jorge’s jump shot was hitting nothing but net; this season he has been throwing up bricks.

UNDER THE TREE: Mexican jumping beans.

Jose Emanuel Calderon: 6.8 ppg, 1.4 rpg, 3.1 apg.
Calderon is the great Spanish general on the court. His game has improved steadily from last season. His field goal percentage is up from .423 to .519, which is quite an improvement. Unfortunately for Jose the trade for TJ Ford has cost him over six minutes of playing time a game.

UNDER THE TREE: Pamplona speed... Watch out for that bull!

PJ Tucker: 0.8 ppg, 0.7 rpg, 0.1 spg.

Tucker was taken in the 2nd round of this year’s draft. He has been compared to Jerome “JYD” Williams as a tough player who keeps hustling. I don’t think anyone could be happy playing 3:36 minutes per game.

UNDER THE TREE: Fewer rhyming jokes with his last name… (not that consonant you silly *ucker)

Joey Graham: 5.8 ppg, 2.3 rpg, 0.4 apg.

Graham did not live up to expectations last year in his rookie season. Joey has looked like a much more complete player this season, although he still lacks the much needed killer instinct.

UNDER THE TREE: DVD of Natural Born Killers autographed by Woody Harrelson.

Darrick Martin: 3.0 ppg, 0.7 apg.

Martin is the 3rd string point guard and does not see much playing time. Being a seasoned veteran (i.e. old) his job on the team is to mentor younger players.

UNDER THE TREE: Knitting needles

Uros Slokar: 0.0 ppg, 1.0 rpg.

Slokar was taken with 28th pick in the second round of the 2005 draft. He just played his first game and looks even more confused than Rafael Araujo did in his first season (uh-oh).

UNDER THE TREE: His first NBA bucket!

Sam Mitchell:

The past two seasons Mitchell has coached the raptors to a dismal 67-118 record. Two season’s ago Mitchell was rumoured to have had a fist fight with then Raptor’s point guard Rafer Alston. This off-season there was speculation that Mitchell would be fired, and some what surprisingly he was not. Many Raptor fans are fed up with Mitchell and are calling for his dismissal. Some are so angry with Sam they have even made a website voicing their belief that he should be fired, www.pinkslipsam.blogspot.com.

UNDER THE TREE: The phone number of Rob Babcock’s psychiatrist.

You can tell Jonathan Rosenbluth what you want under the Christmas tree at rosenbluth12@yahoo.com